Attracting “Mr. You’ll” but longing for “Mr. I DO”

Attracting “Mr. You’ll” but longing for “Mr. I DO”.

Are You Living Life by Default?

I am the D.I.V.A. of Life Design ~ Empowering Women to Live Life by Design not by Default

Daring, Inspiring, Vivacious, Accepting

 

What is a DIVA of Life Design?  Simply put it means I consciously design my life from the inside out using practical spirituality. My intention is to show up in life ready to be daring, willing to take chances, committed to inspiring humanity, proudly embracing my vivacious, sassy side and, accepting what IS!

I spent a lot of sleepless nights trying to figure things out.  I felt like I was out of control and had “messed up” my life by choices I felt forced to make.  I now know that the only force that was being put on me was by me.  I was the quintessential victim. My famous sayings:  It’s too hard, I hate my job, why can’t I be happy in this marriage, I’m tired of being broke. I’m too fat, I’m ugly.  I wore the title of Drama Queen. The 80’s and half of the 90’s were long decades!

I now know I was living my life by default. I was living on conditioned beliefs and values that were handed down by family, and society.  I was giving my power of creating my life away and only I could change that.

Waking up and making a conscious choice to live life by design and not by default did not happen overnight.  I paid the proverbial dues.  I hit rock bottom more than a few times. To solve the “I’m too fat” saga I joined a program and lost 60 lbs. OH NO, now I had eliminated something to whine about. Keeping true to form I took my new body and decided to solve the pain of the empty marriage I’d have an affair.  It was a nightmare of an affair, but it served its purpose to call more drama into my life. Now I could lie awake at night and add the intense guilt of an affair to my repertoire of “poor me”.

In my search for drama I spent/charged my way into the poor house.  I had a great job making good money. My husband also had a great income but every time something hurt I spent.  More often than not I used plastic and quickly escalated my debt into six figures.  My excuse was I deserve this new car, couch, dress, purse, etc because I had a hard life growing up.

Nothing seemed to soothe the inside voices. No matter how much I bought I kept hearing the conditioning I grew up with; “you’re not good enough”… “women don’t go to college they marry men who go to college”…“you aren’t smart enough to ____”.   This conditioned self talk took on a life of its own. It began to rule my life and decisions got harder to make and relationships were severed and I was becoming more lost, lonely and scared. I couldn’t get out of the way of the conditioned beliefs.

I truly believe parents (self included) do the very best they can with where they are at. I inherited the beliefs of a fearful, controlling, aloof father and an absent, (literally and figuratively) mentally ill and paranoid mother.  Classic story of abandonment and cruelty, and I continued it into my 30’s. Let me be clear, that was MY DECISION to hold on.

I will be 49 in October and I am proud to say I have been drama free for 10 years.  That’s not to say the birds sing on the window sill or money grows on trees, but it does mean I DESIGN MY LIFE AND I CREATE WHAT I DESIRE!  I take full RESPONSIBILITY for what shows up in my life. I no longer define situations as good or bad I choose to see it all as learning and release any judgment.

I have two amazing sons who are professionals that contribute to the betterment of humanity. I enjoy a very amicable friendship with my ex husband. I have learned to unconditionally love my parents. I remarried a man who inspires me every day to want to be a better person. I  am living a life of inner calmness. I live life on MY terms and by MY DESIGN

Four years ago I left a job that was draining my soul, and started my own coaching business. I get paid to teach women how to live their lives by design and not by default. I am living my dream Life?  Are you?

What’s my secret?  It’s two-fold …awareness and acceptance. Becoming aware and looking honestly with accepting eyes at who you are and who you desire to be is the key to living life by design.

How to tell if you are living by default:

• You rely on other people’s opinions to make decisions
• You blame people for your life
• The same problems keep showing up in your life and you keep relying on think and do methods to solve them.
• You live in the past focusing on what hasn’t worked
• Your thoughts are fear based and paranoid
• You are in a job, a relationship or friendship that drains you mentally, spiritually and emotionally
• You live on programmed thoughts

If any of this sounds familiar you would make a great addition to my new virtual coaching group.

Email me for details vdrake@rcn.com

Intuitive Voice Method to Living Life

When a baby elephant is born into captivity is it tethered to a stake in the ground to make certain it doesn’t run away and to ensure its safety. As the elephant grows the rope doesn’t.  Strangely enough the elephant doesn’t try to break free. The elephant has been taught that its safety is tied to the rope.  It has also been conditioned to believe it doesn’t have the ability to break away from what it has known since birth.

Much like the baby elephant we have all been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves and the lives we live. Our conditioned beliefs are formed from our family of origin and even societal attitudes.  We become captive to our own thoughts; tethered to what we know.  We find ourselves identifying and living with certain labels formed from our conditioned beliefs. Day after day we live our labels even if they are uncomfortable;  i.e. sexuality, relationships, careers, images, etc.  Over the course of time we transform our world into a world of “shoulds” and “have tos”; all the while drowning out the  Intuitive voice that was installed in us the moment we were created.   The Intuitive Voice is our direct connection to our creator, spirit, God.

We live our lives with a think-and-do mentality.  When we find ourselves in chaos our natural inclination is to attempt to think our way out.  More often than not we will see similarities in what we experience; same issues show up just wrapped differently, maybe with different players, but still the same challenges. And, true to form we will try to solve life with the same mind that created it.  Einstein reminds us that IS the definition of insanity!  So you are probably wondering, if it isn’t think-and-do that creates simplicity, what is it?

It is The Intuitive Voice.

Let me take a moment and introduce you to a concept that has literally been around since before time began: The Intuitive Voice concept to living life fully, productively, and joyfully.  You will begin to realize that you will never have to rely on anyone else for answers to YOUR LIFE.  The Intuitive Voice Method to living life is easily accessible, doesn’t cost anything and brings clarity and ease to all areas of life.

The Intuitive Voice Method is an innovative technique that empowers us to access our internal voice to create clarity and meaning. Accessing the Intuitive Voice guides us to create a safe, caring, supportive presence with our internal knowing; and to listen to ourselves in a patient, nonjudgmental, friendly manner with deep respect for all parts of who we were created to be.

The Intuitive Voice Method empowers us to suspend judgment, doubt, and fears that hinder the natural healing processes that emanate from deep inside ourselves. The Intuitive Voice Method is based upon turning our attention inward where all of our personal experiences, memories, sensations, beliefs, expectations, desires, and emotions live.

The Intuitive Voice Method is a self-guided journey that marries the mind, body and soul to achieve a harmonious and Intuitive existence.

The Intuitive Voice Method uses feelings to heal our lives as well as to make decisions to life’s every day questions.

Accessing the Intuitive Voice requires three things

1.     Assuming the role of the observer

2.     Becoming one with your bodily sensations; i.e. feelings

3.     Embracing Radical Acceptance of what is

This technique will empower you to live life with clarity, focus, ease and grace.

Email me to learn more

 

When Traditional Just Isn’t Working

You’ve taken the pill, and the seen the psychotherapists and life still isn’t working.  Answers to life’s dilemmas continue to escape you as do peace and contentment.  Resentment and resignation are the staples that hold life together for you.  You are struggling to make sense of even the smallest of challenges questioning why me, why this again.  Feeling hopeless and out of control you feel cornered and defeated.

 I can relate. I have been there more often than I care to admit.  I can tell you honestly that I have found the solution to the emptiness, the confusion, the disconnection, and the sadness.  It doesn’t come in a bottle, pill form or liquid and visiting a licensed professional isn’t going to introduce you to the inner peace and calm you are so desperately searching for.  I have found the simple answer to all the complexities of life.

 I’ve called it The Simply Voice Method. This approach to life allows you to live life on purpose with a knowing that you are the only one who has your answers.   Yes, life truly is meant to be simple; we make it complex.  Simple DOES NOT mean birds sing on your window sill, or bills pay themselves, or money grows on trees, or significant others change who they are just because you say so. No, the only thing that changes is the only thing that can change, YOU.

  I know you’ve read this a million times, everyone has a book, or a CD telling you “how to” I’m not going to even imply I know “how to” for you only you know how to live your life.  What I am going to offer you is an introduction to your very own Simple Voice. The voice that is the connection to the Creator.   I will guide you through the process and offer unconditional acceptance, a non judgmental space, respect and a gentle loving atmosphere for you to connect to the simplicity of your own knowing.

 The way this method works is by inviting radical acceptance in to your life and willingness on your part to go deep within and connect to your feelings at a Soul level. Together we will shift perspectives, visit conditioned beliefs and define who you came here to be.

 At first this process may seem challenging or even uncomfortable but it is my role as the guide to keep you safe and on task.  As a Spiritual Life Coach I am committed to creating a destiny with you that supports your Highest and Greatest good.   

 I invite you to begin living the life you were born to live today!  Learn to live life by design not by default.  Why live one more uncomfortable day?  Email me now to begin your sessions.

Blessings,

V

Creating Simplicity in 70 Words

 

 1. don’t say yes, if you really mean no.

2. don’t offer up your opinion when it’s not asked for.

3. don’t resist what is. to resist or try to change creates drama.

4. do one thing every day just for you just because you can.

5. give thanks to all that is afforded to you in this lifetime.

In the words of Thoreau “Simplify, Simplify, Simplify”.  

Emerson’s reply ONE simplify would have sufficed. 

4 Steps for Discovering How to Live Life Purpose

I am Veronica Drake…. mother, ex-wife, wife, victim, friend, arch enemy and survivor. I will show you how I came to realize there are really only four steps to finding your purpose. It only took me 18 plus years to figure it out. Most likely it will take you all of three minutes to decide if it means anything to you.

One cold November morning in 1996 I screamed at God and tried to give Him back His faulty product. I even had the balls to challenged Him to a standoff: “If you have any use for me, show up now or I’m outta here.”

I was sick and tired of living the life I was given. I was blaming the Creator. I had no idea if there even was a God. I figured what did I have to lose. As I was careening my car toward the abutment I came face to face with the details of the life I had created: friends I’d made, loves I’d lost, bridges I’d burned, battles I’d created, and mistakes I’d lived to regret. I realized all this in a split second. And, yes, like in the movies, something happened. It was as if something literally was taking my foot off the gas and applying it to the break. I truly had no control over what was happening. I remember feeling very warm and safe. Something very familiar had me.

t wasn’t long after that experience I got all Holy Rollerish. It didn’t take me long to realize that Holy Roller stuff wasn’t me. But, it did make me question WHO I WAS and WHY I WAS SPARED that day?

I decided to dive in and explore what was really going on with me. What I know about me is I have charisma, I’m very out-of-the-box, I am quick witted and people are drawn to me. Ummm, what was it the Creator wanted me to do with all of that; what Purpose could I possibly fill. There it was right in front of my face the entire time. I would be who I was naturally created to be. Still struggling to identify Purpose, I simply continued to live my life, a life I could be proud of, a life that served others no matter what title I wore.

Ironically, just as I settled into living, it became crystal clear to me. I am a teacher of Purpose. I was given the gift of connecting people to Purpose. Wow, that was powerful. Lil’ ole me using the gifts I was given to be naturally who I am.

It was an 18-year journey for me but luckily for you I condensed it all down to 4 easy steps!

My Four Steps for Finding a Purposeful Existence:

1. Clarity. Be clear about who you are. Take an honest inventory of what you are bringing to life. List your successes and your natural abilities. Take the time to write it out and revisit it daily. Begin knowing that we are all inherently good and we were all created with natural gifts. If you are struggling to get started, remember our Creator put default settings in us and all we have to do is simply return to what we know; the Golden Rule, do unto others.
2. Passion. Passion IS energy. It shows up mentally, physically, and spirituality. Embracing the passion and learning to focus it is really the core of finding Purpose. Passion pushes us to look for ways to continually improve what we do and how we do it. Be passionate about who you naturally are. Marrying passion with Purpose is the ultimate fulfillment in life.
3. Acceptance. A big part of living on Purpose is acceptance. To live a simplified Purposeful life all you need to do is surrender to what is. When you have expectations you will always find yourself in chaos. Bring acceptance into your life and you will find how easy life really is. Acceptance isn’t about living with what is forever it merely means you allow it to be until it no longer is.
4. Deciding. Nothing happens until YOU DECIDE. The law of inertia states that “A body in motion tends to remain in motion, a body at rest tends to remain at rest.” Will you stay stagnate or will you move? I have DECIDED to be a Spiritual Life Coach who empowers people to live life on Purpose. You?

Living life on purpose is living up to the reason that we’re here, making the most of our gifts.

Have you discovered how to live life on purpose yet?

8 Tips on How to Have a Great Day

 

How many times have you said the phrase, “it’s gonna be one of those day”, and it turns out to be one of “those”days.  How exactly does one get one of those days? I suppose we could blame Murphy; Murphy’s Law, what can go wrong will.  How much responsibility can we take for producing that day?  I say 100% responsibility.   I say it really is all attitude.  If our thoughts become toxic our actions follow and then our behavior.  What you show the world really does begin with how you think.  Maybe you’d  tell me life sucks, I can’t pay the rent, my kids are driving me nuts, my spouse doesn’t get me…And, to that I will say it’s ALL your choice to be affected negatively.  The power of choice is yours and yours alone.  

Think back to the last time you had one of those days.  Maybe you woke up late, the shower water was cold, you stubbed your toe, the coffee spilled on your blouse or worse yet, you were having a bad hair day.  C’mon you know exactly what I mean.  All the sudden everyone’s out to get you, from the guy driving in front of you to the elevator that doesn’t come fast enough and most assuredly the red lights that are on the fritz! You get the idea.  Overly exaggerated, maybe, maybe not.  Your thought process began the moment you woke up late.

I want to share  8 tips with you when followed will ALWAYS produce a great day regardless of whatever wants to happen. 

• Accept what is.  Do not invite chaos by going against what already is.  It truly is what it is until it isn’t!  No matter how much fussing, conniving or plotting you do having expectations of something other than what is will always throw you into one of those days.
• Smile.  Smile as if you’ve won the lottery, because you have.  It is a gift to have another day of breath in your body so treasure it.  Smiles are 100% infectious so infect someone first thing in the morning to ensure a great day.
• Forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the breath the angels send to earth.  If you live in the now you can never be angry at anyone as there is only this moment and at this moment all slates are clean.  Open your heart and breathe in a little forgiveness to share with the world.
• Believe. Believe the world is conspiring for all that is in your greatest and highest good and it will.
• Prayer.  Spend time communing with God.  Just for today no complaining, no whining, or asking for a new car just time honoring all His glory.  Start your day that way and end your day that way.
• Gratitude. Blessed our those who give thanks for all that is.  Name 5 things every morning you are grateful for before you get out of bed.
• Laughter.  The recommended dose of laughter is three hardy belly laughs a day minimally.  Laugh often and sincerely it really does make everything OK.
• Be Happy.  Choose to think happy thoughts.  If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it, if you happy and you know it clap your hands!

 

Simple, yes that’s how I live my life.  Simply on Purpose and in alignment with the Divine plan.

I’d love to explore Purpose with you!  Email me to learn more.

XO